[ It's automatic response, in the end, that he falls back on. Watching her cry herself exhausted. His back settles to get comfortable but that is as much of a concession he makes to move for awhile. The idle comfort ceases, she's just tucked under his chin, a hand flat on her back and the other on her shoulder. If she were smaller, still, he might just pick her up, and they're both a little beyond this he knows. He cannot spare her this much compassion, this much kindness. It wouldn't benefit her, or anything else they might ask from her.
He just cannot bring himself to act on it.
There's another brush of affection, a short kiss to her forehead again when she's finally asleep and now he does lift her, scoops her up but it's not to take her far. His bunk would do -- not like he slept in it much. He twists to set her down properly. Absent habits left over from tending Emily. The blanket's pulled up over her shoulders, tucked in neatly around her. He goes to reach for a doll almost, and damn near hates himself for it too.
Grimaces, briefly, at just how easily that came back when he should be doing anything else. Teaching her how easily it is to attack someone sleeping, the foolishness of letting people so close into proximity. Sits on the edge of the bunk with his arms braced on his knees, watching her for awhile there. Wade was right, he wasn't doing himself any favours, had no business playing hero or father or whatever else this was, he was only getting himself into trouble with it -- trouble he couldn't afford.
Ultimately, he does none of it. Just tugs down the privacy curtain so that she could rest probably, for the first time since Jasper died. Later maybe, but enough for the time being. ]
casually makes it worse
He just cannot bring himself to act on it.
There's another brush of affection, a short kiss to her forehead again when she's finally asleep and now he does lift her, scoops her up but it's not to take her far. His bunk would do -- not like he slept in it much. He twists to set her down properly. Absent habits left over from tending Emily. The blanket's pulled up over her shoulders, tucked in neatly around her. He goes to reach for a doll almost, and damn near hates himself for it too.
Grimaces, briefly, at just how easily that came back when he should be doing anything else. Teaching her how easily it is to attack someone sleeping, the foolishness of letting people so close into proximity. Sits on the edge of the bunk with his arms braced on his knees, watching her for awhile there. Wade was right, he wasn't doing himself any favours, had no business playing hero or father or whatever else this was, he was only getting himself into trouble with it -- trouble he couldn't afford.
Ultimately, he does none of it. Just tugs down the privacy curtain so that she could rest probably, for the first time since Jasper died. Later maybe, but enough for the time being. ]