[There's more than just an edge of sarcasm there - because if anyone knows, shouldn't it be her? She can taste the flat bitter taste of dark rancid water on the back of her tongue under the bite of the booze; can remember the creeping sensation of black eyes on her and the cold of the mark and the vicious cut of a knife in skin (and she can't breathe; the black tightening like a vice), and the shape of a small girl's hands in her own. Or a boy's. Had they gone out in a dark, blinking void - there and gone -, or had it been an exploding shuttle?
And because it hadn't mattered why she'd done what she had, said what she did on the Neheda - it was still insubordination. Bullshit, maybe, but her opinion doesn't actually mean anything just like she can say she's using PKN7 to prepare a bunch of hopeless cases a hundred times, but that's not going to stop anyone from thinking she's gunning for something bigger. Because she's sitting here, having this conversation, and the question Jasper's always going to be asking is 'Why are you being so nice to me?'
There's a whiff of disappointment there too in how she takes her glass up again, the look she settles on him - like maybe she'd expected or wanted better. Instead what she gets is raising her glass back to her lips and downing the rest of its contents.]
no subject
[There's more than just an edge of sarcasm there - because if anyone knows, shouldn't it be her? She can taste the flat bitter taste of dark rancid water on the back of her tongue under the bite of the booze; can remember the creeping sensation of black eyes on her and the cold of the mark and the vicious cut of a knife in skin (and she can't breathe; the black tightening like a vice), and the shape of a small girl's hands in her own. Or a boy's. Had they gone out in a dark, blinking void - there and gone -, or had it been an exploding shuttle?
And because it hadn't mattered why she'd done what she had, said what she did on the Neheda - it was still insubordination. Bullshit, maybe, but her opinion doesn't actually mean anything just like she can say she's using PKN7 to prepare a bunch of hopeless cases a hundred times, but that's not going to stop anyone from thinking she's gunning for something bigger. Because she's sitting here, having this conversation, and the question Jasper's always going to be asking is 'Why are you being so nice to me?'
There's a whiff of disappointment there too in how she takes her glass up again, the look she settles on him - like maybe she'd expected or wanted better. Instead what she gets is raising her glass back to her lips and downing the rest of its contents.]